The Conrad Fisher Effect: Green Flags Every Woman Deserves in a Partner
Credit: The Summer I Turned Pretty
If your feed has been filled with clips of Conrad Fisher lately, you’re not alone.
Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock, you’ve likely noticed Season 3 of The Summer I Turned Pretty has officially turned him into the internet’s favorite crush, cementing him among the ranks of beloved fictional boyfriends everywhere.
What stands out about the obsession with Conrad is that women seem almost universally united in their opinion that, despite his flaws, he embodies qualities many now recognize as the gold standard in relationships: emotional openness, respect, and signs of personal growth. In a culture that has long encouraged women to lower their expectations or settle for less than ideal behavior, Conrad’s character is a reminder that relationships built on respect and emotional growth aren’t too much to ask for; they’re exactly what all women deserve.
A Look At Conrad’s Green Flags
Of course, Conrad isn’t perfect, but that’s part of what makes him feel real. We watch him stumble through grief after losing Susannah and at times, his emotional pain makes him closed-off, irritable, or unsure of how to communicate what he’s going through. These struggles obviously aren’t green flags in themselves, but they matter because of how he responds to them. Instead of ignoring his pain or hiding behind bravado, we see Conrad go to therapy, learn to lean into his emotions, and put in the effort to grow.
That’s why his traits stand out as green flags: not because he gets it right every time, but because he’s willing to try, learn, and show up anyway. Here are (a few) of Conrad’s green flags:
1. He’s emotionally open.
From confessing his feelings in the infamous beach scene, to finally telling Belly that he’s always loved her at the end of Season 3, Conrad shows that he’s not afraid to say the words out loud. His timing may not always be perfect, but he doesn’t leave Belly guessing; even when it’s uncomfortable or risky, he puts his heart on the line. For women who’ve spent years decoding mixed signals from men and reading between the lines, this is a refreshing model of emotional honesty and clarity from men.
2. He respects Belly’s autonomy.
When Belly chooses Jeremiah in Season 2 (ugh), Conrad steps back—even though it breaks him. He doesn’t try to manipulate her or interfere (well, at least until the day before the wedding). And later, when she returns to him in the finale, it’s because she chooses him, not because he forced the outcome. That respect is a quiet but powerful form of love, and one many women crave in their relationships: the ability to choose without coercion.
We also see this in Paris, where Conrad listens as she shows him the life she’s created for herself there. He gives her space to share her dreams and experiences, showing that he values her independence and growth just as much as his own feelings. It’s a reminder that real love is about creating room for each person to be fully themselves, even as they come together.
3. He does the inner work.
Conrad carries enormous grief over his mother Susannah’s death, and we see him turn to therapy as one of his tools for coping. He doesn’t try to bury the pain with bravado or distraction; he acknowledges his struggles, and he works on them. That willingness to take responsibility for his own healing makes him a healthier partner, and it shows women that love doesn’t mean becoming someone else’s emotional caretaker.
4. He’s consistent and reliable.
Even in his lowest moments, Conrad shows up for the people he loves. In Season 3, he convinces Laurel to go to Belly’s bridal shower to make Belly happy, supports Jeremiah despite their complicated triangle, and single-handedly helps Belly plan for her wedding when Jeremiah isn’t available. He proves that being reliable is about being there for the people you love, again and again, even when it’s hard.
Why This Hits So Hard for Women
The frenzy we’re seeing around Conrad isn’t just about a popular TV character on a popular TV show. Instead, it’s about what he represents in a culture where women have long been conditioned to accept less.
For centuries, relationships were structured around male power and female sacrifice. Women were told their worth came from being chosen, not from doing the choosing. They were encouraged to tolerate partners who withheld affection, who avoided vulnerability, who put their needs first. As women today, many of us were taught that “boys will be boys,” that men were largely incapable of emotional depth, and conditioned to believe that women’s role was to smooth things over, absorb the hurt, and keep the relationship intact.
But real, lasting intimacy is about building a foundation where both people can grow together rather than fixing each other. As Dr. Nicole LePera writes in her book How to Do the Work:
“For a relationship to thrive, it can’t be used as a means to fill the voids or wounds […]. A healthy relationship provides space for mutual evolution. This is the essence of authentic love, when two people allow each other the freedom and support to be fully seen, heard, and Self expressed.”
A healthy relationship provides space for mutual evolution. This is the essence of authentic love, when two people allow each other the freedom and support to be fully seen, heard, and Self expressed.
— dr. Nicole Lepera
It’s no wonder Conrad feels revolutionary; he flips the script.
His growth, therapy, and vulnerability make him someone who can show up as a whole person in a relationship. He shows that men can be emotionally fluent, that they can take responsibility for their inner lives, that they can express devotion, interest, and love without playing it cool or making it a game.
And here’s the cultural shift that matters most: today’s generation of women is not settling.
We’re setting boundaries.
We’re demanding reciprocity.
We’re realizing that choosing a partner like Conrad is also choosing ourselves—choosing to honor our needs, to refuse red flags, and to recognize that we deserve to be loved with respect, tenderness, and consistency.
We’re seeing women bonding over Conrad because he validates something deeper: the truth that emotional maturity is attractive, vulnerability is magnetic, and love should be rooted in growth — not mixed signals or mind games.
What We Can Take Away
Regardless of your opinion of the show, one thing I think we can all thank The Summer I Turned Pretty for is reminding generations of women what green flags look like.
So whether you’re dating, exploring new relationships, or already partnered, here are things worth keeping front of mind if you’re looking for the healthiest relationship possible:
For WomenIn dating: Don’t talk yourself into settling for mixed signals or half-effort. Emotional openness, reliability, and respect should never be considered luxuries when dating. They are the standard, the bare minimum. Ask yourself: Does this person consistently make me feel seen and respected? Or am I excusing their behavior because I’m afraid of being alone?
In relationships: Notice whether your partner grows with you. A green flag partner doesn’t need to be perfect, but they do need to show they’re willing to do the inner work (therapy, self-reflection, apologizing when wrong, etc.). Ask yourself: Do I feel like the emotional load is shared, or am I carrying it all?
For self-reflection: Belly’s journey shows that choosing the right partner is also about choosing yourself. Honoring what you want, setting boundaries, and not being afraid to walk away are acts of self-love.
For Men (if they’re listening)In dating: Stop trying to be “cool” or be elusive. Women are literally craving honesty more than mystery. Don’t be afraid to openly share how you feel, say what you mean, and don’t make her guess or be unsure of where she stands.
In relationships: Emotional maturity is ongoing. It’s something that can continue to be built and sharpened. Go to therapy if you need to. Learn to apologize when you mess up (and never follow up an apology with “but” or “to be fair”). Show up for the small things, not just the big ones. Pay attention and make the effort. Love is built in the day-to-day reliability.
As growth work: Recognize that vulnerability is not weakness. In fact, it’s really brave and courageous to be vulnerable. A real green flag partner is strong enough to feel, and brave enough to say so.
At the end of the day, Conrad Fisher is more than just everyone’s favorite fictional boyfriend; he’s a symbol of a cultural shift happening.
Women are no longer staying silent, excusing red flags, or settling for “good enough.” We’re choosing ourselves, raising our expectations, and demanding partners who meet us with honesty, respect, and growth.
Welcome to the new standard.
